Scar Tissue that I wish you saw.

“Autumn’s sweet we call it fall
I’ll make it to the moon if I have to crawl
With the birds I’ll share
This lonely view”

It’s lonely at the top. And the world tells us that the top is where we want to be. The message we receive is that if you want to be successful, if you want to “make it to the moon”, you have to give it all you have. Walk until all your legs come out from under you. Crawl to reach your destination and step on whoever gets in your way.

The sweetness of autumn provides an opposite picture than the one of isolated success. During this time of year, we are gearing up to spend time with other people. The holidays are one of the few times in our society that we can’t avoid people the easy way we can during the year. It forces us to come together and enjoy the company of others. Contrast our constant strive for success and pleasing ourselves and think about what we are thankful for, celebrate memories with others and spend quality time creating a shared feeling of togetherness, home, and love. The holidays are a hard time for many people. Maybe you didn’t come from a happy home or don’t have many family or friends to spend it with. Sometimes relationships get so strained that the closest people in your life are the very ones you need to let go of. The holidays are also a time where deep wounds re-surface, and anger, bitterness and resentment are the resulting emotions when you think about what this holiday season “should” look like. And you wish whoever hurt you so much would get to see your scar tissue. The wound from that broken relationship and what it took for you to heal. Maybe these experiences make you dread the holidays and wait for it to come and go so you can get on to living without having to think of any pain.

It’s hard to live in a world where another person can hurt you and disappoint you. The natural response is to feel that because that person hurt you, everyone else will. “No one cares about me so I must care about myself and not care about anyone else.” This is the response we are tempted to have when faced with pain, betrayal, rejection and all the other array of emotions that a human being’s actions can cause us to feel.

But wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could love each other as we would want to be loved. Forgive like we’d want to be forgiven? That is after all, what we were made for, to do. Don’t crawl through life with the wound and limp that someone else’s careless or ill-intended actions created. Find the strength to stand up and go through life together with other humans. The ones that have the potential to let you down. Showing love and grace to them as you should to yourself. There’s no better formula for success.

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