There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for.

This time of year is the best reminder that there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for. Thanksgiving really exists 365 days a year. It is an attitude, not a holiday. It is a decision to be like Louis and “think to myself, what a wonderful world.”

This week, try to find the wonderful in your world. It may be God’s creation, it may be a loved one who has really helped you in a time of need. It may be as simple as getting a green light, or a tasty lunch. We all have difficulties and struggles. Some days seem to give us everything BUT things to be thankful for. But as one of my mantras of life says: the reason we even suffer or feel pain is because we know the beauty of what it is not to feel pain. We live in a world where there is no rainbow without rain. We would not know true happiness if we did not experience the opposite. And the really amazing thing that we can do is be thankful for the things we didn’t even know we were saved from.

So tomorrow morning, and every day, let your first and every thought be, that it is really a wonderful world.

Girls, we run this.

“Reppin for the girls, who takin over the world

…How we’re smart enough to make these millions

Strong enough to bear the children

Then get back to business.”- Beyonce “Run the World (Girls)”

Happy International Girls’ Day! A wise person once said, “If you can be yourself, be yourself. But if you can be Beyonce, be Beyonce.” Needless to say, I love Beyonce and I love this jam. Beyonce writes and sings anthems. Songs that embody a movement, a belief, an ideology. And this song, certainly embodies the cause and belief in the power and strength of women. As a woman, who works primarily with women; I see strength, patience, love, and all good things pour out of many of the strong women that I am blessed to know. Many of them have faith beyond any person I’ve ever met, but you wouldn’t be able to guess just by looking at them. You can’t judge a woman by her cover!

Living in this world, and working with eating disorders; I’ve begun to reflect on the plight of women through a different lens. Our society has become increasingly (and disgustingly) objectifying of women. As every year passes, it seems we’re expected to be even more skinny, artificial and photo-shopped than the month, year, or day before. We begin to view standards and see images that make us feel less worthy, less beautiful, less “woman.” And it is a sad, sad truth only sadly (sometimes) reinforced by the men in our society. Instead of lifting us up and appreciating the beauty, brains and baby-making ladies we are (Beyonce paraphrase); they often feed into our insecurity and validate that because we are not big/small enough, smart/dumb enough, out-going/quiet enough than we are un-worthy.

At the risk of sounding like a complete bra-burning feminist, I have to say that ladies– we have to stick together and stand up for ourselves! It is one of my core beliefs that we all receive the respect that we give ourselves. Love who you are, and know what you deserve and don’t treat your body like an object, free to be “bought” for a cheap drink or bargained for a commitment. Your body is a temple to be honored, not an object to be perfected. It is sacred. It is “fearfully and wonderfully made” to be enjoyed through a life that is well lived, not hated and bashed and criticized for the way it looks different than the one next to it. Women, we need to stop comparing and putting beach other down and recognize the unique role that each woman plays in her life, her family, our world.

And if we come together and recognize and see the beauty in all women, whether or not they look like they belong on the cover of Vogue, we will each do our part in coloring this black and white world a rainbow of light. Because we all have different colors, we all have light within us, we all have deep, incomparable beauty and the sooner we begin to recognize it in each other; the sooner we begin to believe it for ourselves and act in a way that honors the beauty of us.

Because after all girls, we run this!

You step a little closer each day… 11.12.13

“You step a little closer each day
Still I can’t see what’s going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
So come on courage!
Teach me to be shy

It’s not hard to grow
When you know that you just don’t know”. – Damien Rice “Cannonball”

Yesterday was 11-11, the day of Wishes, Dreams, Hopes and Prayers. Today is 11-12-13. The day of steps, progress, faith. The day that my hero Martin Luther King Jr. calls us to “take the next step without seeing the whole staircase”. One step at a time. 5 minutes at a time. That’s how we really live life. The problem is when we think that we know the future, we can predict the next step, the next moment, the next move.

As Damien shares with us through the tear-jerking ballad, “Cannonball”, everything he experienced in life that he was taught would teach him something specific or would surely produce a specific action; ended up having the opposite effect on him. Stones are meant to knock us down. Love is surely not supposed to make you cry. Courage is intended to keep you from being shy. Sometimes in the school of life, the teacher we thought would reveal to us one thing; ends up teaching us an unexpected, sometimes unwanted lesson. You show up to Social Studies and you end up studying math. You show up as the teacher, but end up the student. Learning from those who you should be teaching. Growing in places you should “have it together” already.

The beautiful and fascinating thing about life is that right when we believe we’ve learned a lesson enough times and we’ve finally “got it down”; we end up being challenged in a new way, we never would have guessed would occur. And that is the essence of growth. How can you grow in a place where you feel you have already reached your full potential, your full purpose, your full growth. Each of us has a purpose here in this moment, on this earth. If we didn’t, we would not be here any longer. Sometimes we know our purpose and feel a calling on our personal, professional, emotional and spiritual lives. And other times we don’t. But whether we do or don’t, the true growth occurs in the beauty of the unknown, the piercing mysteries of life that leave us not knowing, yet still growing. Living one day at a time. Counting one breath. Stepping 1, 2, 3, 11, 12, 13.

Aware that we are human. We are here. And we keep stepping closer each day, living life in the beautiful unknown, which is the true place of surrender. The place of Light and Truth.

11/11, 11:11

11/11, 11:11

“I always catch the clock it’s 11:11
And now you want to talk
It’s not hard to dream
You’ll always be my…” Konstantine, by Something Corporate

There’s a legend that when it turns 11:11: you are supposed to make a wish. And for the super passionate and adventurous ones of us: talk about all your dreams for a full minute. Right now, ready go….

Some may find this a difficult task. But like one of the most heart-wrenching songs I’ve ever heard , by one of the most incredible songwriters I have ever met (from whose concert I just returned), says: it’s not hard to dream when you know exactly what you want. When its been placed in your heart from long before. When your dream has become a part of your reality. You could talk about it for a minute, you could talk about it for an hour, you could talk about it for a lifetime.

Everyone has a dream. Some have a constant one that has either haunted them or motivated them for many years while they wait for it to come true. Some have a new dream, one that portrays hope with every fiber of its being. What we need to do more than anything is believe in the beauty of our dreams. In the beauty that, some day, if it’s best for us: that dream will become reality. Or if it’s not, it will morph or transform entirely into a new dream, even better than the one we initially hoped for. A new calling and vision. But whatever it is, speak your dream into life! Don’t hide it, in fear that it will never come true. Or in fear that someone will judge you for it. At the end of the day we all have the one thing that it will never be hard for us to continue believing and hoping for. And it’s worth your hope and words and faith and life and energy to dream, speak, and pursue into being.

Happy 11/11…11:11. Here’s to keeping the dream alive.

Scar Tissue that I wish you saw.

“Autumn’s sweet we call it fall
I’ll make it to the moon if I have to crawl
With the birds I’ll share
This lonely view”

It’s lonely at the top. And the world tells us that the top is where we want to be. The message we receive is that if you want to be successful, if you want to “make it to the moon”, you have to give it all you have. Walk until all your legs come out from under you. Crawl to reach your destination and step on whoever gets in your way.

The sweetness of autumn provides an opposite picture than the one of isolated success. During this time of year, we are gearing up to spend time with other people. The holidays are one of the few times in our society that we can’t avoid people the easy way we can during the year. It forces us to come together and enjoy the company of others. Contrast our constant strive for success and pleasing ourselves and think about what we are thankful for, celebrate memories with others and spend quality time creating a shared feeling of togetherness, home, and love. The holidays are a hard time for many people. Maybe you didn’t come from a happy home or don’t have many family or friends to spend it with. Sometimes relationships get so strained that the closest people in your life are the very ones you need to let go of. The holidays are also a time where deep wounds re-surface, and anger, bitterness and resentment are the resulting emotions when you think about what this holiday season “should” look like. And you wish whoever hurt you so much would get to see your scar tissue. The wound from that broken relationship and what it took for you to heal. Maybe these experiences make you dread the holidays and wait for it to come and go so you can get on to living without having to think of any pain.

It’s hard to live in a world where another person can hurt you and disappoint you. The natural response is to feel that because that person hurt you, everyone else will. “No one cares about me so I must care about myself and not care about anyone else.” This is the response we are tempted to have when faced with pain, betrayal, rejection and all the other array of emotions that a human being’s actions can cause us to feel.

But wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could love each other as we would want to be loved. Forgive like we’d want to be forgiven? That is after all, what we were made for, to do. Don’t crawl through life with the wound and limp that someone else’s careless or ill-intended actions created. Find the strength to stand up and go through life together with other humans. The ones that have the potential to let you down. Showing love and grace to them as you should to yourself. There’s no better formula for success.

here today and gone tomorrow

But when October comes and goes in no time at all
I’ll begin to feel the chill of an early fall.

Oh how quick they slip away, here today and gone tomorrow.
Love and seasons never stay, bitter winds are sure to follow. — George Strait, “The Chill of An Early Fall”

In honor of the Country Music Awards, today’s lyric of the day quote is from the legendary George Strait. I love the double meaning of the word fall in this song. It’s a season and it’s a feeling. The season of fall is the predecessor of winter just like a feeling of fall in a relationship may be the beginning of goodbye.

A start of a relationship is a funny thing. In his book The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis writes: “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .”. In the beginning of any relationship, you meet someone and if you click, it feels like you’ve known them all your life. You share about yourselves, mostly similarities, and the time flies, because you’re having fun! But as Mr. Strait sings “when October comes and goes in no time at all… begin to feel the chill of early fall.” Although he’s clearly being a bit pessimistic, he captures a very interesting definition of love as a feeling that “doesn’t stay.” and “bitter winds being sure to follow”. In a way he is right, there is always a fall from grace in every relationship. That moment when you realize, that other person is as human and imperfect as you are. It’s a difficult moment but we all know that it is inevitable: that person you deemed the queen of summer, is soon to fall off her pedestal. That is just the nature of this world and human life in general. The fear of how far they will fall or how it will hurt us when we realize their humanness is sometimes worse than the actual act itself. It creeps up on us like cold weather in November. Mostly because it reflects the fear of how imperfect and “human” we can be. And the thing about it is, especially if you’re from southern california; if you have to experience the fall, the least that could happen is not having to experience it earlier than necessary! Most of us want to stay in the “honeymoon” period as long as possible. With no bitterness, all sweetness.

But, the reality is, as George says, we’re all “here today and gone tomorrow”. So why not embrace the human qualities of another person before it’s too late. Your love for someone once you realize they are not perfect, will bring much peace and freedom. And it will help you love yourself, and understand that you are loved in a deeper way: flaws and all. And if someone is not meant to be in your life, it is my firm belief that they will not stay. People are in our lives for a “reason, season or a lifetime” And if they’re meant to be, they will be. And if they’re meant to leave, they will leave with the winds of tomorrow.  And you will be okay.