“I never said thank you for that, thought I might get one more chance… “

What would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong so proud.
I never said thank you for that,
now I’ll never have the chance”– Jimmy Eat World “Hear You Me”

There are no words regretted like those left unsaid. This phrase and feeling has been repeated, rephrased and framed on the walls of the poetry/arts “hall of fame” since the formation of language. Usually, it’s in the context of not telling someone you love them, and then losing the chance. I read an article last week written by a nurse who had compiled the top 5 regrets of people on their death bed and number three was some variation of wishing they had the courage to express what they were feeling. I think I would include, wishing that they had seized the opportunity to express what they were feeling. I like to think of it as the most important time management of your life you will ever engage in. Isn’t the excuse for everything these days… “I’m too busy?” Too busy to write a kind note, leave a small voicemail, write a nice text, bake a tasty meal. We just don’t have the time.

For as many mean thoughts and words are created and expressed throughout the world, I think there are as many non-expressed kind thoughts and words that we are holding in or thinking “we don’t have time for”. If you disagree with me, think of your day today: How many times did you think “Wow, I love that girl’s smile” or “Thank you for letting my car go in front of yours in the bumper to bumper traffic” (A true rarity for us Los Angeleans). And yet, how many times do we actually say it to that person, or wave and express the gratitude to the car behind us? I would challenge you to think about all the kind thoughts you have, that you are hesitant to express. Or maybe too cynical to give a second thought to? We think, “Carl was really nice to me at work today” and before we can say the word kindness the automatic second thought is “I wonder what he wants”. Maybe we avoid saying thank you because we’re too busy judging motives.

Or maybe it’s because you don’t know the person and walking up to them and telling them they have beautiful eyes may (in some area codes) be sufficiently creepy and warrant a stalker arrest. But maybe you do have the opportunity, to say thank you to “Suzy” for ringing up your groceries (they do wear name tags for a reason by the way: use their names!) Yes it’s Suzy’s job, and yes you may have waited 15 extra minutes because she was chatting with Joe the bag-person the whole time but nevertheless: you and Suzy have interacted. You have connected in some way, and she has, as small of a role as it may be, affected change in your life. There is something to be thankful for to Suzy. There is something to be said.

After all, we are on this earth, living these lives together for a reason. No one is an island. We all can help and support each other and we all need help and support. And the more thankful we are for it, the more we will probably get. And the more we get the help, the more we give.

There is always something to be thankful for, so let’s vow to not live a life in which we can think back and say “I never said thank you for that, now I’ll never have the chance”. Because the truly scary thing is that if you don’t make it a habit to recognize and be thankful for the small things, you may be missing the big things. The big thank yous. The thank you for the parent who was on your side no matter what, even if you were wrong. The thank you for the friend whose shoulder you cried on and stained black with your mascara after the big break-up. The way your co-worker stood up for you instead of throwing you under the bus in front of your boss. To the ones who were there for you: in the heartache, pain, sweat, tears. That helped you grow into the “lucky, strong, and proud” person you are today.

Say thank you for that, you never know when you won’t have the chance.

Unknown

Autumn Fallin, from trees. The snow is up to our knees… I believe, it was you. Who I wanted to be walkin next to.

And I believe we were friends
And I believe we will be again

If I knock on your door would you let me in?”- JayMay “Autumn Fallin'”

Best song. And in this video, it is performed in one of the best cities in the world. London is such a charming place. Besides all the history, literature and religion that was birthed in the Motherland; deep down, it is a city with a story. And how fitting that the gifted story-telling singer-songwriter, Jaymay chooses this city with a story as the backdrop to her autumn fairy-tale.

The thing I love about this song, and Jaymay as an artist, is like any good story-teller, she invites you into her story, her life. And she does it by setting up the scene. “Once upon a time, in a galaxy far away”… Okay, not that kind of story, I’m not going all geek squad on you, don’t worry, but by the first words “Autumn’s fallin…” she sets a beautiful scene. Autumn is falling from trees, and instantly in our minds we see Jaymay and ____ walking through the snow, walking through central park, getting rid of shoes, and a whole bunch of other fun things that this setting, this season may bring. Our imagination sets in as she tells the story. And we’re fully aware that this is her story until slowly but surely, her story becomes ours.

And we go from, man I wish I was walking with Jaymay in Central Park to… BAM. The picture of the one person I want to be walking next to. RIGHT THERE WITH ME. The “hero”, “prince charming” or “princess charming” in our story. Maybe someone comes to mind. Maybe a group of friends, maybe a long lost friend you’ve lost touch with, someone you couldn’t picture your life story without.
Whoever it is. Whatever it is. A good song brings the song-writer’s life experiences into your heart and your mind. It makes you reevaluate your life and ask yourself tough questions like “who do I want to be talking to, walking next to, spending forever next to?” What kind of stories and adventures do I want to tell? And who is in those stories that I don’t want there. And who is not in those stories that I do want? And then of course these thoughts and hopes, lead us to action. It leads us to following our dreams and believing our hopes will come true… “I believe we were friends. I believe we would be again.”

Autumn is falling. Let’s fall right with it, fall in love with the story of your life. 🙂